Friday, May 20, 2011

Six Years

This day,
six years ago,
I spent the last night
of my Mom's life with her.

Most of the rest of the family
was here, in my home too.
It was good to be together.

I have the funeral of Harmon Killabrew
playing in the background.
A fictitious character died
on a favorite TV show this week.

It's hard not to feel sad.
I relive May 21, 6 years ago often.
The sequence of events play over and over
in my head and on my heart.
All of the days preceding her death,
while she lived with me and I cared for her,
are a non ending tape running
through my mind.

On Mother's Day this year,
I posted the above picture of my Mom on here
as well as on Facebook.
Long time friends wrote
such nice things about my Mom.
Many said she looked like a
movie star. 
I concur.

We lived in a very small town.
The population when I graduated
was around 360 people.
Yet my  Mom, offered a blend
of sophistication
and home spun
hospitality that wasn't
easily duplicated.

I loved her closet.
It was filled with the most gorgeous clothes,
fancy shoes, purses to match and jewelry.
I can still smell her perfume.
She attended a governor's ball
and hosted many political candidates (even presidential
candidates in our home.

More important than all of that though...
she could throw down a hot dish with
wonderful sides and deserts to
entertain a crew of my siblings friends
(many 6 foot plus football players included)
or just to have the neighbors over,
at the drop of a hat.
A few of those "kids"
that were in our home back then,
wrote to say they remembered her kindness.
If any of you are reading this,
know she never forgot YOU either.
Aileen, Judy, to name a few,
I hope you're reading this.

She baked all of our bread
for a long time.
She canned...
pickles galore.
She loved her flowers,
especially bachelor buttons.
She had a wonderful laugh.
I miss that laugh.

Was she perfect?
No.  Of course not.
No one is.
But she loved me.
She was my cheerleader.
I miss her every day.

I'm convinced that the only reason
I have been able to carry on for the
last 6 years is because of my children.

That's why it hurts so much
when I hear of mothers and daughters
fighting or arguing.

I can't say it enough,
forever on earth does not exist. 
We only get one chance to
get this life right.
I don't want anyone
to have any regrets
upon the loss of a loved one.
If I can help just
one person go to someone they care about
and tell them they are forgiven
and that they love them,
my life will have meant something.



Anonymous said...

your life does mean something hon, many things. thru your sadness and pain, you helped me when my mom died. you have been there for me on sooo many occasions that i can't begin to name them all. you do matter and you do help. i know the recordings in your mind that you often have, i have them too.
i love you!

Young Adventures... said...

I'm so glad that you have so many wonderful memories Jill! It seems like she was a wonderful woman.

Anonymous said...

This is such a beautiful tribute to your beautiful Mom. Even though I had only a few occasions to meet your Mom, I instantly knew she was a rare individual. She had a knack for making you feel special. She was definitely a gracious and kind lady and beautiful to boot. I am so happy I had the opportunity to know her. Jill, you are so much like your Mom. You have the same rare qualities she possessed for making people feel good about themselves. God bless you for your kind and loving ways. That is why you will always be considered my sister-in-law. Love, Mona

Kandi said...

Wow, that was a wonderful tribute to your Mom. Thinking of you today...and she did look like a movie star in that picture. Beautiful!

Kelli- AdventurezInChild'Rearing said...

Beautifully written Jill- as always! You are such a loving woman & I know that your Mom is so very proud of you as a mother & a woman-

Heidi said...

I know the pain never goes away , I'll pray for peace and comfort in memories.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful post. (Sorry I didn't get to read it yesterday.) I, too, hate to hear of mother-daughter estrangements. My mom and I were SO close too. And we never forget the day we lose them.

Jackie said...

What a beautiful tribute to your mom Jill. She really does sound like a wonderful woman and mama. So sorry for your loss, I'm sure if there's one thing that we all hope for when we are no longer on earth and that is that we are REMEMBERED, I'm sure she is smiling down on you, and loving the kind of mom you have become. Blessings jackie

Natalie said...

I loved reading about your mom. May 21st was my mom's birthday so I thought a lot about her yesterday. She would have been 74, but now she is eternally young in paradise. I miss her so much, remembering how she used to call me almost everyday to check on me. Blessings and peace to you.

texwisgirl said...

what a sweet post. and very good advice.

i popped over from dianna's spot to say hello and congratulate you on your award. God bless you and yours!

Valerie said...

"We lived in a very small town.
The population when I graduated
was around 360 people.
Yet my Mom, offered a blend
of sophistication
and home spun
hospitality that wasn't
easily duplicated."
You captured the essence of Mom. Love you.

Sunny Simple Life said...

There is something of the bond between mother and daughter. My mom has been gone 10 years and I still can hardly talk about her without a lump in my throat I miss her that bad.

Lottie said...

This is a beautiful post about a beautiful lady! Glad I found your blog!