Thursday, October 21, 2010

Bully, Bully

I will warn you.
This post is going to be "heavy."
Therefore, I'm starting on a light note.
Yes, this is my cat.
Yes, he's on my table.
Yes, he rules the house.
And yes, I don't always allow this from him!
Before you come to dinner, please be assured that I clean my table frequently!

Yesterday was anti-bullying day.
People were asked to wear purple.
I may be a day late,
but I feel the overwhelming need to address bullying.
Perhaps, one day, someone that is being bullied will happen to
come across my blog and know they are NOT alone.

I'm going to share some very personal details about myself.
This is not for pity.
I want you to know how you can overcome the bullies in your life.

I loved school!  I was in as many activities (no sports, thank you) as I could be in.
I got a long with all of the crowds:  the jocks, the books and the burnouts.
early on I was given a nickname.
Fatty Maddy, it was. (My maiden name is Maddy)
Isn't it just a lovely rhyming combination?
Oh yea.  I was a size 12.
Due to the love of my family, I never let it get to me (well, not much).
Those of you  that know me today, know how I'd love to be a size 12 again.
I am working on it but have lost A LOT of weight over the years,
only to end up back where I am.
I know why I'm where I'm at.
I know how to change it.
I'm hoping this time is the time that it works.

I was married for almost 20 years.
I was bullied in that relationship.
Being a mother saw me through those dark days.

I am the mother of two special needs children (by choice!).
My heart has broken a thousand times when they are crying because someone called them "stupid", "retarded" (a word that should be banned), or "dumb."
But I am uplifted by my children.
They are never afraid to go back to school,
to face those same people day in and day out.

I have witnessed a special education teacher refer to her students as
"They are dumber than a box of rocks."
I have heard her say, in regards to the same students,
"Why do we even bother, they'll never amount to anything."

We have all observed a parent bullying their child while out in public.
On the flip side, we have seen teenagers bullying their parents.
We have seen the impatience of society towards our elderly population.

Bullying does not begin or end with sexual orientation.
It's happens to just about everyone, in one form or another.
My plea is to have no more bullying, for any reason.
We all need to stand up to bullying.
We CAN stop it.
We must NOT tolerate it anymore!
We CAN make a change.
We must be willing to stand up to the bullies.

If you are being bullied, you are NOT alone!
There ARE MANY people that care.
Find someone you can trust.
You parents, teachers, religious leader, The Trevor Project.
Search online for help.
Call a hot line.
GOD is there for YOU.
GOD doesn't make mistakes.
If need be, leave me a message on here, I WILL find a way to help you.
Bullies don't have to win.


Heidi said...

Thank you for your passion to make this world a better place. One hopefully that is more peaceful,and respectful for all of our children to live in. That doesn't just happen without people actively choosing to get involved. Let's model for our children and take a stand on issues that effect our everyday life. I am constantly amazed at how often I hear; "I know that's wrong, or I know I should take a stand, BUT I need the money and its happening at my work place, I just turn the other cheek and don't get involved, the bully's are to big and powerful, so why bother, one person can't make a difference anyway. We need to teach our children that one person can make a difference, even if it is one child, one adult, at a time!! I think the proudest moment I had as a parent so far was when my own children said "Mom we can't let this continue to happen, it's wrong, these kids need a voice." To repeat your closing sentence "Bullies don't have to win"

Kandi said...

Amen to everything you just said! (And you said it a lot better than I ever could.) I have been shocked at the stories of bullying lately and I have to ask myself, "Where are the teachers, the supervisors, the MEDIATORS for these kids?" There's a lot more that I want to say, but for today just know that I absolutely hear you, Jill! Thank you for being an encouragement to those who are suffering from bullying. I hope they find this post and confide in an adult who will help them through it. said...

I feel so bad that you were given a terrible nickname. Did I know that? You know how unreliable my memory is. Bullying is despicable and all parents need to teach their children not to bully. I think schools have to be involved too, even and especially in grade school. Any hint of bullying needs to be dealt with immediately. I can't imagine being afraid to go to school. I pray that the children will have many protectors. Thanks for causing us to think about what bullying does to human beings.