Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Wake Up Call

19 year olds.  Dead.
15 year olds. Dead.
14 year olds. Dead.
11 year olds. Dead
10 year olds. Dead.
Too many to name.  Dead.

All from suicide.
All because of bullies.

When are we going to wake up and put a stop to our young people dying by their own hands?

When are we going to teach our children and young adults that it is NOT OK to bully?

When are adults going to stop being the bullies?

I've encountered many, many people in my community that refuse to believe bullying happens.  They say it's just "kids being kids."  Yea, kids can be mean.  But there is a line that shouldn't be crossed.  We need to teach that line to our children.

Yet, how can we when adults are bullying kids?  Case in point, the young 14 year old girl that was bullied verbally abused by her teacher and aide.  This happens more than people like to admit.

Most of you don't know me personally.  You have no reason to believe me.  But it won't make me stop telling the world that I have heard this abuse first hand.  To those of you that have heard me before, I am sorry.  Working in special education in an elementary school I was told face to face by the lead special education teacher "Why do we bother?  They'll never amount to anything."  and "They are dumber than a box of rocks."  In front of the children.  Spoken to me, the mother (by choice) of two special needs children.  There was more.  But this will suffice for now.

Yes.  Most of you don't know me.  But I am here to say that this has to stop.  No matter the child or the reason (special needs, gay, fat, slow, etc.) bullying HAS to stop. We, as adults need to set a good example for our children.

It. Has. To. Stop.  
 We. Have. To. Stop. It.



Scrappy Pink Corner said...

I here you and I agree. I have a child that had issues while in school and was being bullied and made fun of all the time. I was constantly in school fighting with teachers and principals. They all hated me. They would hide when they saw me in school, but I had to stand up for my daughter because if I didn't, who would? I fought until the end of the 10th grade, then she went to live with Dad. But he continued the battle and now is doing much better with her self-esteem.
Thank you for sharing.

Jenny Woolf said...

This person should not have been allowed to work in special ed. Is there any process for whistleblowing? that will help stamp out bullying - if the teachers are part of the game, you can't hope to stop the kids. That's the area to look into, the teachers first.

Lynne said...

EXCELLENT Jill! I agree . . . totally . . .


If we are living out those values within our own families/homes it can become one step toward banishing cruelty to others.

Let us all live in civility . . . it feels right and good . . .

Chatty Crone said...

Sometimes bullying comes from the parents too. I wish and pray for peace and love everywhere. sandie

Madi and Mom said...

WEll said Jill...each person was put on this earth for a reason no matter the IQ they have value and we can learn so much from them....mainly their ability to love unconditionally,
Hugs Madi and Mom

Gloria said...

Well done Jill! I couldn't comment the first time I read this as I was so overwhelmed! My youngest was bullied, and it almost ruined his life. Thank you for posting this!

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

The problem is that it starts so early, and if parents don't do anything to stop it - indeed even encourage it - it snowballs. Last April we were at a McDonald's playground when a 16 month old - smaller than Cort and Reid - terrorized all the kids. Meanest baby ever. He made both twins cry, and he made someone else's 5 year old cry. THe parents were smoking cigarettes and surfing the net, laughing over the child's malicious ways and doing nothing to stop him. That kid will wind up being a sociopath unless a decent mentor intervenes early on.

Melodie said...

I agree! My personal pet peeve is"boys will be boys" Uggg! Boys will be what the are taught to be! If you raise them and guide them to be young men strong of character then they will be.If you act like it is natural for them to act bad then they will act bad. In 99% of cases,boy or girl,I believe you can trace that right back to the parents. So many parents are so self absorbed these days that they take no time to raise their children or plain just think bad behavior is funny.

Jill from Killeny Glen said...

Such a horrible thing...happens everywhere! WHY!?!? My oldest son (special needs) has been bullied his entire life...he has learned MANY sad and painful lessons at the hands of "typical" kids.

Donna said...

That Lead SpEd teacher would be OUT looking for another job if I'd heard it!!! How Horrible!! I'm one of those old women that would have had her canned! People like that need to GO AWAY!

Tiggeriffic said...

I volunteer at the local school here in Iowa and I went to the 3rd grade teacher and asked her why she was teaching. I told her if I had a 3rd grader I would ask not to have my child in her class. I told this young gal that she was angry about something and she was taking it out on these kids in her class. I told her to reconsider getting a different job so these children could have a teacher that cares..
These little ones need our positive imput and someone who really cares for their well being.
Have a blessed day~ ta ta for now from Iowa:)

Ellie said...

I hear you Jill, how on earth has that teacher got her job. She obviously isn't suited to her job.
Bullying is a horrible trait that some people have and I have never been able to understand why they do it.
I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. I'm afraid I don't know an answer.

missing moments said...

An outstanding post today Jill!

TexWisGirl said...

good job, jill. keep it up.

Debbie said...

i know you jil, i feel like i really know you!! your words are so profound they radiate through my soul!! you are there voice, stay strong and clear!!

"children learn what they live"

Furry Bottoms said...

I agree, Bullying needs to stop. We need to teach our kids how to handle it when they get bullied, and to break the cycle. My nephew is being bullied and it breaks his heart every single day, and hes afraid to go to school, but he goes. He is learning courage and humility. Keep your voice strong and sure, everybody needs to hear it!

Teresa Strouts said...

Good post. It just makes my heart hurt. We need to as a society ask ourselves why we condone this behavior. Why can we not treat each other with respect and compassion. Students learn behaviors from their parents, teachers and peers. If the teachers are bullies what chance do the kids have? Seems to me that "mean" behavior is everywhere. I just don't get it...

Dianna said...

So true. I was bullied on the school bus (it was called "teasing" then. WRONG!)and I can completely understand a child snapping and either taking his life or that of the bully. If I'd had a weapon, I quite possibly may have done the same.

My Blessed Serendipity Life said...

Hearing stories of people (especially young people) being bullied makes me so sad. It does so much damage from hurting one's self esteem to being fearful of the bullies to making a person withdraw from everything and everyone they love. I agree that it must stop. Teaching our children and friends of our children gentleness, compassion and love is the first step.


Anonymous said...

That teacher needs to be punished in some way, shape or form... in our world... plus, she'll also have to answer to God when her time comes! I can't imagine what makes people think it's ok to say mean, hurtful things like that... how in God's name do they justify it? I think we live in such a cynical world that people have lost the ability to care about even the basic things.

God bless you & your children... yours and all of them!!!

ღ Life According To Milo ღ said...

I agree. There have been too many suicides in and around the town where I grew up lately. We had a 15 year old, beautiful young girl who took her life recently. I can only imagine that it was because of bullying and peer pressure. It has to stop. Thanks for speaking out about it as well.

Donna said...

There's never a reason to bully - ever, never - and even more importantly, never, ever a reason to try to explain why. There is no why, JUST DON'T!

It doesn't stop until we all stand up and say, "STOP!"

I stand with all of you.


Cher' Shots said...

Just today our prayer group got word of a 10 year old that hung herself because of bullying. Sad thing is, how can a nation that is out there pushing their way in rallies, etc teach their offspring not to bully? They are teaching by example, a bad one but an example. Sad, sad. Pray for our nation, pray for our kids.
'hugs from afar'

Anonymous said...

I could not agree with you more, Jill!
I've dealt with this firsthand, myself. It was a hard pill for me to take seeing my very sweet, big-hearted, wouldn't hurt-a-fly kind of girl being bullied for 2 years by the same little group of kids. Harrassed online, harrassed at school. Why? I never could figure it out. She bent over backwards trying to be nice to them. And surprisingly enough, some of them were teachers kids. Nothing was ever done about it. One of the many reasons we now homeschool.

I like your spirit, Jill!

BettyJean @ Shabby Tea Party said...

I was never so glad as when my youngest was finally out of the public school system. My daughter is now getting her masters in early childhood ed. She was assigned to Observe in a classroom of 2nd graders. Within the first few visits she said to me "mom, I remember you always said the teachers bullied us and now I can see it". As she walked around the classroom she stopped to ask one student how he got the answer to a math problem just to see if he understood it...she felt bad that he immediately hurried to erase it fearing he'd done something wrong. She reassured him that it was correct. The students were given a coloring page of a turkey....the classroom teacher asked one student "why did you color your turkey Blue, that's stupid"! My daughter was horrified. I believe she included these observations in her report at the end of the assignment. I can't understand why these type people are in this profession. Don't give up Jill. Who will help the children when they can't help themselves. There must be zero tolerance enforced by everyone, everywhere. Warm Hugs,

Buttons said...

Oh what a great post. I remember when I was in grade six I had a teacher that my friend asked me "Why does she hate you?" I had no idea but I will never forget that year in my lifetime it was hard to get through. Have you ever heard of a teacher putting book binding tape on a child's mouth and leaving it on all day. It is a wonder I made it through that year. You are so right Jill. B

Ed Pilolla said...

it is an uncomfortable truth for so many people. sadly, bullies are rewarded in our society. we hold them up as heros in the business world.

snowwhite said...

I don't know why this teacher decided to become the special education teacher. Before qualified as a teacher, this person is not qualified as a human being. The school must be one of the safest places for all children.

Bullying is serious problem in Japan too. When some incidents like suicide happen, the school teachers or the principals say always "We did not know." or "There was not such a sigh, there was no bullying." Many times people are apt to see what they want to see. But, ugly reality is in front of them.

Jill, thanks for sharing this.

Best wishes,


Catherine said...

Dear Jill, I am sorry that I have not been able to visit this week until today. The week has gotten away too fast. I agree with you on this post. The teachers and parents need to set an example. Blessings, Catherine xo