Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Tips on Photography

This entry deemed dangerous for the eyes!

One will probably find it odd that I am making an entry on photography tips.
As most know, I am a wanna be photographer.
However, I am overwhelmed by those "fancy" cameras and consider
myself too stupid to learn how to use them.
Therefore, I remain committed to my simple point and shoot.
In spite of my lack of talent,
I am always interested in hearing photo tips from the pros.
I'd like to share some with you.

First off, you know how they say you and your pets grow to look like each other?
Here are my pets:

Based on the findings we grow to look like our pets,
I've decided I have chosen the wrong pets.
May I present to you the following self portrait:

Here is the pet I most resemble and should have:

I rest my case.
I hate, and i mean hate having my photo taken.
I'm sure  you can see why.
At any rate,
I offer you tip number one.
This is to lessen the look of a double chin.
Put your chin forward and tip it up a bit.
This looks like a mug shot and does nothing to reduce my double chin.
Tips number 2 and 3:
Turn to your side and place your leg closet to the camera forward
and lean towards the camera.
Scary.  Nuff' said.
Now, in addition to tips one, two and three,
you should engage the camera:

I guess this isn't what they had in mine.
The next tips came from, if you can believe it, an "expert" in taking
pictures for your online dating sites.
After this experiment, I wouldn't put anyone else through looking at these pictures!
I still had to try them out though.
His advice was that men or women love to see self portraits done in a mirror.
Oh boy.  This is getting really frightening.
Here we go.  Are you ready?
You've made it this far.
I'll understand if you can't go on.
If you're still here, so am I.
Last chance.
Here we go.
I bet you're gritting your teeth too.
Besides this idiotic look on my face,
do you notice the dirty towels in the background?
I'm not as surprised as you at how dumb I look!

Next, you are to take a picture of doing something you love to do.
Thanks to Becky, I submit the following:
Bless her heart.  She always gets me at my best.
Ponytail, glasses, etc.  ARGH!
In my last attempt at a photo that might be presentable for Facebook or my blog,
I actually combined two of my favorite tips.
A self portrait shot from above.
The contortions for this one weren't too tough
I have to say, I am OK with this one.
I'm not sure why but as pictures go of me,
I can live with it.
My friend of 30 years looked at this one and said:
"That doesn't even look like you!  I don't believe that's you!"
No wonder I liked this one!!!

Happy picture taking!

Oh yea, I promise, I'll never do this to you again!


Valerie said...

You crack me up! I laughed out loud several times but I disagree with your opinion of your shots. I think they are all good. I love your hairdo and think it is very becoming in all the pictures. Funniest shots/lines: The picture of the long-eared Cleo; do you notice the dirty towels in the background? (no I did not until you pointed them out); the instruction on reducing a double chin will be used henceforth for all my pictures; and the last picture does too look like you! And I should know because I have known you for 52 years.

Kandi said...

I'm laughing, too...however, I think you look great in the pictures! You are your own worst critic. And what's wrong with a ponytail and glasses? That's how I look EVERY day. :) The double-chin thing...well, I've posted about it, too. Where does it come from that evil double chin? It's started creeping up in pictures of me, as well and I don't like it one bit.

Kayla said...

I never realized you had such big, beautiful eyes until this post, Jill!!! I didn't notice the towels either until you mentioned it! And, I am with Kandi....I am in glasses and pony tail EVERY day!!!!

Jill said...

You guys are too kind! I'll now confess, this post was the most humiliating yet freeing post I think I could ever do! Thanks for laughing with me. You were laughing with me right? ha!