Posies from the garden.
First things first. I am happy to announce that after sitting up in a tree limb for a little over an hour, my little downy woodpecker flew off into the sunset. I'm pretty sure she's just fine.
I want to take a moment here to thank my wonderful blogging friends that shared pieces of their lives with me in my comment section. I am honored that you chose to share such intimate details with me. It's just one of the reasons I find each and every one of my followers so amazing! Thank you!
On with my story...
We spent the next 2.5 years raising the kids together, my ex and I. Then he got other ideas and decided things were "greener on the other side of the fence." I think I always knew our marriage would end in divorce. A woman knows these things. So after 19 years, he packed up, moved out, got married and moved out of state in a matter of 9 months.
For me, it was really no big loss (hindsight is 20/20). Friends and family were somewhat stunned though as I hadn't really shared the down side of things at home. It was important to me to put on a brave face for everyone (I don't like people to worry about me) but especially for my kids.
I dusted myself off and the kids and I became The Three Musketeers. One for all and all for one and all that jazz. We would be fine. I'd make sure of it. And with the love, help and support of friends and family, I've done OK.
It hasn't been all rosy. I resent my ex a lot! Not for leaving me but because he hasn't been a Dad to his kids. Oh, he sends them birthday and Christmas gifts and if they are lucky, calls them 2-6 times a year. While going through the adoption process he answered all of the same questions and made the same commitment as I did but he bailed. Guess he fooled a lot of people. This has been a constant struggle for my kids. I do all I can and friends and family love and support them but they don't have a participating Dad and that hurts. A lot!
Single parenting isn't easy but it is doable. I try hard not to complain but I have bent a lot of ears over the years venting about the ex. Thank you friends and family for listening!
If you know a single parent, I'd like to make a suggestion. You'll never know how much they appreciate any support you can give them or their children. Or how they sleep better at night when you repair their garage door for them. Or how grateful they are when you let them bounce decision making issues around with them. Or how much a hand written note, email or phone call can lift their spirits knowing you are thinking about them.
My kids and I are fine. We always will be. But we could not have done it alone.